5 things I will do, and 5 things I will not

Photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt

Yes­ter­day, I headed out to buy cat food. I parked my car, went into the store, pulled out a shop­ping cart, looked around … and real­ized that I was at Sta­ples.  (True, the pet store is just next door. Still, this is a first.)

For the past few days, I’ve been unusu­ally dis­tracted and dis­tractable, anx­ious, and unset­tled. Being threat­ened with evic­tion will do that to you. At least, it will to me. My thoughts are shoot­ing in all direc­tions, but every­thing seems hazy. I’m doing my best to get things done with­out know­ing what to do.

Back home from errands, it occurred to me that I need to sim­plify. I need to be clear about what I’ll do – and what I will not. Here’s my first crack at set­ting down a set of per­sonal guide­lines (a sort of mini-experiment within my exper­i­ment of nest­ing).

I will:

1. Write some­thing every day. (Because writ­ing always makes things better.)

2. Get at least some exer­cise every day. (And yes, a walk counts.)

3. Look for a place to live.

4. Do some­thing sooth­ing / nice for myself each day.

5. Frac­tal flower pitch­ing.

I will not:

1. Expect myself to be oper­at­ing at full capacity.

2.  Tell myself I shouldn’t be so dis­tressed — or any­thing else that I, in fact, am.

3. Do one more thing that I don’t want to do unless I really have to.

4. Draw con­clu­sions about what any of this means

5. Give myself a hard time for eat­ing weird meals (cot­tage cheese and car­rots any­one?) or rely­ing on pre­pared food. (Yes, I could make it more cheaply myself, and I will again. Just not now.)

 ♦

So in the course of the day, I took a long walk, did some writ­ing, and checked out real estate list­ings before spring­ing for a rasp­berry lemon­ade at Cup and Top. At the moment, mak­ing lemon­ade out of life’s lemons feels a bit beyond me. But real lemon­ade on a sum­mer day is a pretty good distraction.